Funny Justin Beiber jokes

I got some funny Justin Beiber jokes i found on the internet. All the haters will have fun reading this, and for those a big fan of JB will get mad at me. People love making fun of him because of the way he looks and sings, so enjoy these jokes.

Justin Bieber Short Jokes 


Q: What’s the difference between a water bottle and puberty? A: A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.


Q: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? A: Because theres no light in the closet! 


Q: How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin? A: "A few months ago" 


Q: Why doesn't Justin Bieber eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper! 


Q: How did Justin Bieber hurt his head? A: He fell off a ladder trying to reach puberty! 


Q: What does Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree have in common? A: Their balls are just for decoration.


 Q: What does Justin Bieber and the New Years crowd at Time Square have in common? A: They’re both waiting for balls to drop! 

Q: What will happen if you call Justin Bieber gay? A: He will slap you with his man purse.


 Q: What is Justin Bieber's new hit single? A: "If I were a Boy" 


Q: What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ? A: One of them has balls and it ain’t Bieber. 


Q: Why is it sometimes alright to judge a book by its cover? A: Sometimes it's named 'Justin Bieber', and you know its crap!


 Q: Why is Justin Bieber like Ms. Pac-man! A: Just a token and she's ready to swallow!


 Q: How hard is puberty going to hit Justin Bieber? A: Harder then Chris Brown hitting Rihanna! I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch dick, But it’s in his ass and belongs to Usher. 


Q: What does Justin Biebers asshole and his mouth have in common? A: They both produce the same shit! 


Q: Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A: A Snickers bar has nuts!


 Q: Why do Justin Biebers male friends nickname him "Shotgun"? A: Give him a cock and he'll Blow!


 Q: If Eminem is the King of Rap, what is Justin Bieber? A: The Queen of Crap! 


Q: What is the biggest lie of 2011? A: "Justin Bieber is the father of my Baby" - Mariah Yeater. 


Q: What is Victoria's Secret? A: (whispering) Justin Bieber is gay! A teen girl walks into a medical clinic and tells the doctor she has "Bieber Fever" Doctor: Nope it is Herpes! 

Justin Bieber Bar Jokes 

Boyfriend/Girlfriend 

Daughter: Hey mom,I'm going to my room with my boyfriend. 

Mom: Ok, don't do anything stupid. (Boyfriend and Girlfriend enter the bedroom) 

Daughter: Baby, baby, baby, OOOH! (Mom run's into the bedroom) 
Mom: What are you doing?! 
Daughter: We are having sex! 
Mom: Oh thank god, I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber 

JB on CSI 

Boy is watching CSI and crying. His mom enters room.

Mom:Why are you crying son? 

Son:Justin bieber got shot!

Mom:Dont worry its only on TV! 

Son: Thats why I'm crying! 

Justin Bieber’s mother often tells his friends stories of when he was little. The stories are from a few months ago.

Who’s that girl singing? Oh…Wait…Thats justin beiber

I called Justin Bieber gay, and he slapped me with his purse.

Yo Usher! Are you coming out tonight? -Nah I’m babysitting Justin Bieber!

Justin Bieber always sings about girls… she must be a lesbian.

Hey you guys are so mean to Justin, leave HER alone!

Justin Bieber kept video of himself striping in YouTube, which caught the attention of gay manager and next day he became star.

In an interview with MTV News, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe said that when he heard Justin Bieber sing for the first time, he thought he was a woman. That’s ridiculous. Justin Bieber is not a woman. He’s a girl.

In next season of Disney’s Hannah Montana , Justin will be playing the role of Hannah Montana.

Police are now using Justin Bieber’s songs as torture devices.

Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber.

Kim Kardashian received death threats from Justin Bieber fans after he jokingly tweeted that she was his girlfriend. One Justin Bieber fan tweeted that she will use her lunch money to hire a hit man.

Q. What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
A. One of them has balls and it ain’t Bieber.

Justin Biebers new song is “if i were a boy”.

You’ve got to feel sorry for JB ………….. She’s under extreme pressure with all the hype surrounding her.

Q: How to make Justin Bieber cry?
A: Tell him Santa’s not real!

Justin Beiber fell off the ladder trying to reach puberty .

Justin Beiber will star on next transformer movie , his name in transformer will be “Faggatron” .

Q: When will Justin Bieber win the Grammy ?
A: After Justin Bieber hits the puberty , damn he will never win Grammy then.

JB wants new Barbie Doll kit as christmas gift .

JB doesn’t need mic to sing , no one needs mic for lip-syncing .

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road?
A:To get away from Justin Bieber!!!

JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty
MOM: really? how do u know?
JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina.

Stop making fun of him. Every time you make fun of him, you’re making fun of someone’s daughter.

Instead of saying when pigs fly say when justin beiber hits pueberty.

According to E! , Justin Bieber and Usher is in relationship and was found on late night dating. They will marry once Justin turns 18.

“Justin Bieber Finally hit the Puberty” was the biggest April Fool Joke of the Year .

13yrs old Girl got detention for misspelling “Believers” as “BELIBERS”.

The Justin Bieber song “Baby” is the official theme song of Gay Association .

Obama : We are going through major crisis , all the teen girls are becoming Lesbian.
Press : How can you tell than ?
Obama : Because they fantasize sex with Justin Bieber .

Q:: Why did Justin Bieber Crossed the road ?
A:: To reach the puberty .

Justin Biebers not gay, just ask his boyfriend!

Selena Gomez will Never get a boy-friend,
Next day news: “Selena and Justin in Relation”
Told you, she turned lesbian .

Why Boys need parents

10 Dumbest Cartoon Character

Lets talk about some of the dumbest cartoon characters on TV. I know you got your own list, but since I am the author I will be posting some of mine, I ranked them based on my observation of how dumb or stupid they are. There are too many to mention, since cartoon is usually made to be dumb because of its audience are children. From the dumb to the dumbest I got my list for 10 dumbest cartoon character.

Whats your list? here's mine

10. Dora the Explorer. I should have put her higher than number 10, because she is not just dumb, she is also annoying, stupid, and stupid. I hate it when she looks for something that is just in front of her, then ask the audience which way, even though the way is just in front of her! Is she blind, lazy or just plain dumb. duhh!

9. Dee dee (Dexter's Laboratory). The annoying sister of Dexter always gets him on trouble and even destroying his whole lab. She has the exact opposite of Dexter's brain, no matter what Dexter says she won't ever listen, even the simplest like 'do not touch the red button'.

8. Team Rocket (Pokemon adventures). Prepare for trouble, make it double, these guys is the true definition of loosing streak. They always lose and never get tired to try again , giving up  is not in their vocabulary.

7. Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons). He is retarded, and funny. Ralph may not be one of the main characters on the Simpson series, for me he is one of the funniest.

6. Spongebob Squarepants. Bikini Bottoms' fun loving sponge creature is one of the dumbest, he always gets into trouble. He loves Jelly fishing, doing pranks, frying crabby patty, and annoys his neighbor Squidward. He' can be easily fooled, you can tell him Santa exist and he will believe you.

5. Beavis ( Beavis and Butthead). A looser most of his life, Beavis is one hilarious cartoon character, together with his buddy Butthead they create one of my favorite cartoons of all time. Their goal in life is just simple, watch TV and score some girls. Feed him too much sugar and he will become 'Corn Holio' an alter ego of Beavis that demands a TV for his Bung hole, dung hole, whatever!.

4. Homer (The Simpsons). He is your typical dad, loves Beer, TV, Donuts, Beer, TV and... Donuts, but one thing separates him from most dad, is his stupidity.

3. Cosmo ( Fairly Odd Parents). Timmy's God parent Cosmo is one dumb fairy, ask a wish from him and he will give you stupid results.

2. Billy ( Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy). This kid is the dumbest on Cartoon Network today, he is known to be an airhead and the boy who picks his nose using Grim's Death Scythe. He is one of the reasons why Grims'  life on the living is much worse than living in hell.

1. Patrick Star ( Spongebob Squarepants). I have nothing to say to this character, just watch the show. He out-dumbed even the dumbest like Ren and Stimpy, and he is more stupid than the word stupid itself.

The Story of Pretty Boy Mayweather Part 1

This is a story that has never been told, tell, and even seen. A story so dramatic, so epic, it will make your tears fall.

A story about a legend, a man who is undefeated on his Boxing career,  a man who is going to jail this June, a man so rich that he can even buy Haiti, and a man known for his loudmouth.

This is his journey to being the number 1 fighter in the world.

Will he overcome the challenges in life? will he make it to the top? Lets find out.

This is the Story of Pretty Boy

This was taken from their childhood.

Once upon a time there were two best of friends Manny and Floyd, they love each other, they play together, bath together, share secrets together, and share the same interest in sports. 

Manny: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, Floyd stop peeing on me

Floyd: Shut up fool! drive faster I want to watch Barbie, this is the season finale  I don't wanna miss it. 

While growing up they were always together, they usually hangout on the streets drinking Ginebra Gin. 

Floyd: This is Vinegar, not Gin you moron!

Manny: Sorry, I cant read, I only finish grade 1

But one day, Manny was looking for Floyd, when he opened the CR, Manny was surprised! 

Manny: Wat are you doing ya know, why are you kisseng that boy in the room of comfort!?

Floyd: Huh!? OMG, no way homie! I aint kissing this poor boy, I... was... just.. blowing something in his nose, Get off me you fool! (kicked the boys ass)

Manny: Oh OK

But one night Floyd had a dream about his dead father.

Floyd Sr.: Wake up fool! Wake up you stupid bastard 

Floyd: AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ghost! HEEELLLP! (screams like a girl)

Floyd Sr: What is wrong with you boy, its me your old man!

Floyd has chickened out because of a ghost he saw. But the Ghost has a message to Floyd

Floyd Sr : My Son, you are destined to be a great boxer, you must follow your path and stop being friends with Manny, your best friend will be your worst enemy.

Floyd : Oh Ghost! you fuck! you are my dad!? you look like shit before, now you look shit more! Manny is not a problem, I am the best in the business, I got more money than him.

Floyd Sr: You better make sure he will not get in the way.

Floyd : You know me, I beat everyone's ass even girls.

And so Floyd has followed his fathers advice, then he had a job as a Cherry Picker to earn money for his training

Floyd even enrolled in a ballet class to improve his footwork

Because of his hard work he became a Champion

He even got his own super hero movie

While Floyd was busy looking for love

Floyd: Let me kiss you Oscar, you are so yummy, you are so good looking I love Mexican boys

Oscar: Just a kiss, and stop grabbing my P*nis, you just payed me to give you a kiss

Floyd: I will pay extra just let me touch those Mexican ass of yours

Manny was on a rampage defeating every boxer in the world

Buffer: What can you say Manny you have defeated every best boxer in the world.

Manny: Ah you know, ah, thanks to the Pelepens, to Mrs Arroyo, to my sponsors, my kowtch Freddy Roach, Ah you know It was a good fight.

Buffer: You didn't answer my question Manny. How about Mayweather, he is the only fighter that haven't been defeated

Manny: Ah ok, ah, I depens on my promoter, Bob Arum, yah know, if the fight goes Ok.

Buffer: Last words for Manny before we end the show.

Manny: I want to thank Mrs Arroyo for teaching me corruption, Chavit Singson for giving me advice on how to be a gambler, Lito Atienza for being there for me when no one is at home, and to the Pelepeno people, thank you lord for giving me this very supportive people. Ah Mayweather if you are watching lets fight, OK.

After seeing the interview Floyd has another nightmare

Floyd: Daddy lets run! Manny and Bob will fry our eggs!

Floyd Sr : Don't worry son, remember your training, when hell breaks loose, run like a CHICKEN!

Now Floyd is having a problem whether he fight or not fight his former best friend

Floyd: My head hurts, that fool is giving me nightmares. What should I do? I know, I will beat my wife for the world to see how bad I am, oh yeah! Manny will be scared of me.

On the next day Floyd meet a little boy

Boy: Floyd you are my idol you can beat Pacman

Floyd: I don't know kid, when I hear the word Pacquiao it gives me nigthmares

Boy: You are a champion you can do it!

Floyd : Yeah, I think I can, I beat my wife, I can beat Manny too!

Even the great Michael Jordan supports Mayweather

MJ : Hey Floyd, you should fight Manny, nothing is impossible. I remember when I was young no one believed in me, they only picked me 3rd overall on the NBA draft. But look at me now, I am one of the best basketball player in the world. Btw, Kobe sucks! hehehe

Justin Beiber also gives Floyd some advice

JB : Floyd don't be such a wuss, look at me, there are so much haters, they think I am a lesbian but I am not. I am just boy that looks like and sings like a girl. I am like you but more good looking, we share the same interests (boys) that's why I am with you homie.

Floyd: I must be seeing things you looked like Manny Justin.

During his last fight Floyd has something to say to the world

Floyd: Hey Manny I want to fuck you, I mean fight you! You should stop hiding under your mother's skirt and lets settle this man to man.

Larry: Hey Floyd stop touching my balls man.

Floyd : oh sorry I though that was the microphone

And so it was settled the fight of the century will happen. Will Floyd Mayweather beat his arch nemesis, we will find out in the next chapter of the Story of Pretty Boy.

note: this is just Parody I made this just for fun. We all know who Mayweather is. If you got a suggestion on our next episode kindly comment below.

        

Samar scandal

I got some funny clips from Catbalogan, Samar. Enjoy!

This is Ungi the destroyer. 
Translation:(xmas jingle) Pasko na nman oh kay tulin ng araw, Pasko nag daan tila man oh kailanman, ngayon ay pasko tayo ay mag awitan. Pasko! pasko, pasko na naman muli ang pag ibig nag aari. Sang linggo ako ay nag simba, ang baso ko'y puti, puti at maganda, nakita ko isang dalaga, walang sinabi kundi pasko! Santa Ana, Santa mesa, Ilagay mo kami sa kalen...


Public Scandal

If I am going to be Mayor Gay style

Who Killed Magellan, ask this guy, hehehe
TranslationGuy 1: Hey wake up!, who killed MagellanDrunk: (Awake!)(speaks in a drunk mode) Magellan was killed (someone screams' Tiki! or Lizard), he was killed because of Tiki, yes indeed, the tiki killed Magellan, and then Lapu- Lapu was killed by an Arrow. It is not true that a knife killed Lapu-Lapu it was all lies. 
He also said that Magellan killed Lapu- Lapu, hahaha! maybe the other way around
See what drugs can do, hahaha!

Read this

If you believe in this kindly share 

Funny signs in the Philippines

The Philippines is one of the best speaking country in the world, and foreigners will have no problem translating and understanding signs.

But when you roam around the country, you can find some funny signs that will tickle your funny bone ( unless you do can't speak english).

Here are some samples

Translation: " kids who do not wear panties are not allowed"

Are you waiting for the paint?!! 

This one is really funny! My first expression seeing this, I was like What the F^ck?  Who  wants to buy a pussy?! 

He can repair electrical appliances but not his spelling

They probably sells kidney too!

A contest that its prizes are kept secret! who would wanna join this I guess the judges are also a secret and the singers and competitors are also a secret :-P

This is one of the greatest epic fail ever! hahaha!

I am guessing the owner of Pussy store also owns this one, they just translate it to tagalog

Translation: "friend, this is not a comfort room or toilet, there is a better public CR in Jollibee (a famous restaurant) This was made for you. It is also very near; only couple of steps away"

"Respect yourself, respect you country"

Video Game Fails

Gayest Video Game Ever

Have you ever thought what was the gayest video game ever? There are a lots of games to choose from but this game really caught my attention.

This game from the old NES(Nintendo Entertainment System), is about boxing and defeating your opponents until you reach the final boss Mike Tyson. The game is quite challenging especially in defeating the final boss, when I was a kid this one is my favorite, and I didn't notice the gay part until recently.

Ok, the gay part in this game is when the bell rings and both competitors will go to their own corner, you probably imagined what was the corner man doing to his fighter, massaging, giving water and advice, but in this game, its not... as you can see in the animation, the corner man is giving his boxer some... mouth massage, hehehe. If you are curious just watch the video.

A Robin Hood Game that sucks

This Robin Hood game redefines the meaning of "sucks" in a video game
The game will start in a ye olde boar i think it is a bar they just misspelled it, and if you are Robin Hood you must be equipped with a bow and arrow right... not! he has a rocket! yes a rocket and it sounds like a rocket and there is no end to this game, you can't go anywhere, there are no story plot, no missions, you just have to shoot your enemies then die! then repeat over and over until you get bored.